i don't like sucking hair
someone owes me an orgasm
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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