The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
