I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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