Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
