I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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