All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
