Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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