Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think a kid would responsible me up
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
