i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
