remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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