just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Randomize
