Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
