I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
