Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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