To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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