wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
