I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't notice because vodka
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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