As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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