Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize