I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Little spoons don't ask big questions
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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