Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize