its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
