is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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