arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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