Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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