How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
