I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
