i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
