The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Help. Why am I so naked?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
