I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
