More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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