Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
