too bad you live with your parents still
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
