you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
