I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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