So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
