Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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