No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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