You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize