Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
