you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
