we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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