Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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