No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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