Screwed.edu
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
