Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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