I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
