ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
