Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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