Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
