She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
