every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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