And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
