We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
