I think i sorta joined a cult last night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
