Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
