I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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