She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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