her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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