What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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