We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
home. puking in laundry basket.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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