That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize