Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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