Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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