it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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