we're blogging at a bar
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize