Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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