I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
