I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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