If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize