Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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