don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
