the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
