I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
