i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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